A SUITABLE HELPER

Text: Gen 2:18-23
Readings: Eph 5:21-33
Theme: God created Eve as a suitable helper and companion for Adam.
Purpose: To show that wives are to be complementary helpers to their husbands in the mutual companionship of marriage.

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Weddings are usually very happy occasions! There is the joy of the couple as they come to the end of a long period of preparations for the wedding itself. The bride and groom are excited about their marriage and are looking forward to being together. The bride and bridesmaids always look beautiful, and the groom and his attendants are dressed in smart suits. Extended family come from far and wide giving families have a lovely opportunity to catch up together and to enjoy each other's company. And all of this is made more festive with lovely arrangements of flowers as people come dressed up for the ceremony and reception. 

Today we want to consider this subject of marriage. We will look at what the Bible says about the creation of Eve and consider two important biblical principles for marriage. 

This section begins with an observation of the Lord who said; "It is not good for the man to be alone." That is striking because this is the first time that something in creation is not good! 
About everything else we read the God saw that it was good; and at the end of the six days he looked at everything he had made, and it was very good. But he saw Adam alone in the Garden of Eden and said, that is not good. 
This does not mean that Adam felt lonely; after all, it was a perfect world and he had the perfect companionship of the Lord God.
But God knew that he had also designed Adam for human companionship, and especially for the companionship of a woman in marriage; and so, it was not good for the man to be alone. 
This is why to be single and content with that is a gift; God intended that men and women would be married. 

All this is written for our benefit, because God knew all along that he would create Eve. Her creation was not an afterthought; God wasn't making this up as he went along. No, he had it all in mind and he explains it to us as we read this story.

God wanted to prepare Adam for his companion. This is why he had him name all the animals. 

This was Adam's first exercise of his dominion over the creatures of the earth. God had appointed him as the ruler over all the earth. He was in charge of everything and this was his first major task, his first big responsibility. 

But naming the animals also served another purpose. It prepared Adam for meeting Eve. It helped him appreciate her all the more. 
For as he named all the animals he noticed that there was no one like him. He went through all these creatures, "But for Adam no suitable helper was found". (vs 20b). All those creatures were different from him.

He would also have noticed that the animals were in pairs: a lion and lioness, a bull and a cow, a stagg and a doe, a ram and a ewe. And these pairs of animals could communicate with each other; he couldn't understand them but they were obviously suited to each other. But there was no one suited to him. 

So the Lord created Eve. 

He did this by causing Adam to fall into a deep sleep - no doubt a whole lot better and more effective than our modern anaesthetics!

God took one of the man's ribs. The Hebrew can also be translated as side. He took part of Adam and used that to form Eve, which points to the closeness and intimacy of the marriage relationship. 

Matthew Henry has a beautiful and famous explanation of this when he wrote: The woman
"was not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled on by him; 
but out of his side to be equal to him, 
under his arm to be protected by him, 
and near his heart to be loved." 

Husbands, that is worth writing out and putting on your desk or above your workbench as a regular reminder of how you are to treat your wife!
You are to look after your wife, to care for her, protect her, be considerate of her, to love her. Is that reflected in your marriage? Is that evident in the way you speak to your wife, in how you love her, in the respect and honour you give her?

We might imagine that the Lord enjoyed making Eve! Of course, he found joy and satisfaction in all the work of his creation. It was all good. But Adam and Eve were the climax of his work; everything else built up to this point. God made Eve as the first woman, and she must have been beautiful - in appearance and in her character - 
the "Miss World" of that creation!

Having made her the Lord "brought her to the man".

This is the first marriage ceremony in the Bible, the first wedding service, a garden wedding. 
Most of us have been at weddings and seen the father of the bride walking his daughter down the aisle to the front of the church to present her to her husband. Here the Lord God acts as the Father of the bride, if we can put it like that, to present this beautiful woman to the astounded groom!
Adam had not expected to meet someone like this. This was a complete surprise! He had been meeting and naming elephants and ants and giraffes, but here was someone like him! Here was a person he could talk to and love and communicate with. 
This is why he breaks out in the first human words recorded in the Bible: 
"This now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman for she was taken out of man." (v 23). 
This is the first love poem, or love song. In the Hebrew the tone is enthusiastic, jubilant; "This is the one!"

By this the Lord instituted marriage. 

Genesis chapters 1 and 2 tell us that God instituted the Sabbath as a day of rest, and that he instituted work; here he instituted marriage. These are creation ordinances - patterns and structures for the created world. 

At the very beginning, on the sixth day of creation, God instituted marriage as the life-long relationship between a husband and a wife. 

There are a few people in our society who are pushing for other relationships to be accepted as normal marriages - man and man, woman and woman - homosexual and lesbian relationships. 
But, as someone has said, "God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve." God created a male and female and put them together as husband and wife.
This is the pattern for all of humanity and the Lord does not want us to change that.

This brings us to two biblical principles for marriage.

1. First of all, Eve was created as a COMPANION for Adam. 

The first purpose of marriage is companionship. Yes, they were also supposed to have children; God wanted them to be fruitful and multiply and to fill the earth, and this too is a purpose of marriage. But the first purpose of marriage is companionship. Adam valued Eve for herself alone, before they had any children. Some couples cannot have children, but they are still married and they enjoy the primary reason for marriage - companionship and friendship. 

Many young people think that marriage is about being head over heels in love with another person.  They think of marriage as all emotion. But that is a distortion that comes from the TV soaps and from love songs on the radio.
Yes, marriage is about love - the love of romance and mutual attraction - but it is also, and more importantly, about the love of friendship, of a husband and wife enjoying each other's company. 

Adam recognised Eve as a true companion. Here was another person, someone he could relate to, talk to, get to know. This is God's pattern for marriage - it is about companionship and friendship. 
Young people, that's what you should look for in a partner - a companion for life. Consider that carefully. Choose carefully and prayerfully.

Those of us who are married, this is what we need to work at in our marriages. It is very easy to take each other for granted. When you do that you start to drift apart and lose interest in each other and you become 'ho-hum' about your relationship.

Someone has said that marriage is "a work of art".  What they meant is that marriage is something you create. It doesn't happen by itself. It takes time, effort, work, like a beautiful garden. 
If you don't work at it then nothing will happen; rather, it will deteriorate, it go backwards. 
But if you do work at it then it can become beautiful, a work of art!

Are you working at your marriage? 
Are you spending time together?
Do you talk together? Converse? Communicate?
Do you treasure the companion God has given you?
Are you developing your relationship, deepening your friendship?
Marriage is first of all about companionship.

2. Secondly, Eve was created to COMPLEMENT Adam.

This doesn't mean that she was created to give him compliments, although that is a good thing to do.
We are using complement with an "e", in the sense of fitting together with.

This is what God meant when he sad that he would make "a helper suitable" for Adam.  
Literally the word means "corresponding to". God gave created Eve to fit in with Adam, to help him, to assist him.

Both were created in God's image. They were equal before God; the same in status or being. They had the same relationship to God. Later on they would be saved in the same way - by grace, through faith in Jesus Christ. 

But although the same in status they had different roles or functions. 
For a while sociologists and feminists were trying to minimise these differences and they said that men and women were the same and that girls could do anything!
In more recent times there is a growing recognition that we are different. John Gray describes some of this in his best selling book, "Men Are From Mars, Women Are >From Venus". Those books are so popular because they express a truth we all know intuitively: we are different. We think and speak and act and react in different ways. This is how God made us. 

We notice in the Genesis account that God created Adam first. 

This gave him a certain priority which is reflected in the New Testament. (1 Tim 2:13, 1 Cor 11:2-9) 
In the marriage relationship God appointed Adam as the head over his wife.
This was illustrated immediately after they met when Adam named his wife. In the Bible that is a sign of authority. 
God gave him a position of leadership and responsibility in the home. 
It is very important that we who are husbands and fathers live up to that, that we take that seriously, that we provide leadership - especially spiritual leadership in our homes, in being a godly example, and giving biblical instruction, and leading family devotions. 

God also gave Adam the task of subduing the world and exercising dominion over it. He created Eve to help him in that. She was to do this with him. They were to do this together. She was his helper. She was ideally suited to this role. She complemented him perfectly and corresponded to his needs. 

Wives, are you a suitable helper to your husband? 
Do you encourage him in his work, or do you discourage him?
Do you build him up, or do you nag him and criticise him?
Do you respect and honour him in the position God has given him, or do you ridicule him and pull him down?
Do you give him your full support in his role as a husband and father, and in his work in the world and in the church?
Do you help him with good advice and input?
Do you take an interest in what he is doing?
Do you provide a stable and happy and well-managed home?
Are you are helper suitable for your husband?

And young women - are you preparing yourselves to be godly and faithful wives?
Will you aim to be a wife like this?
Are you growing in Christian character so that you will be attractive to a godly young man and be able to be a good wife?

And husbands, do you love your wife, listen to her carefully, consider her advice and give it great weight; and do you give her respect and honour?

God's pattern for marriage is that we are companions to each other and that we complement each other.

In this way we can encourage each other to serve in the Kingdom of the Lord Jesus, imitating his character, serving him as we serve each other, seeking first his kingdom and his righteousness, being the people he wants us to be, in whatever position of life he has placed us. 

In this way we will also illustrate the relationship of Christ and his church.
Your loving leadership as a husband will illustrate the headship of Christ over his church.
Your willing submission as a wife, and your help and service to your husband, will picture the obedience of Christ to his church.
In this way we will reflect that "profound mystery" - that union between Christ and his bride, the church.

You can only work this out in your marriages and in your lives by living close to the Lord Jesus yourself.
Read his Word.
Be faithful in worship.
Pray for the grace of the Lord Jesus to fulfil the calling he has given you:
as a father or mother,
as a son or daughter,
as a husband or wife.
Live out your calling as members of Christ's body and as citizens of his kingdom.

Amen.